Addiction is an ugly thing that has changed the way you behaved and brought out the worst in you. Drugs and alcohol use have had harmful affects on your body in many ways and destroyed many of the relationships that surround you. Once this disease took a hold, your priorities mostly revolved around the substance. This means that you barely had time for your friends, family, or loved ones. You may have sneaked out in the middle of the night just to buy or use drugs or alcohol. Important family events such as graduations or birthday parties been missed and/or ruined because of your drug or alcohol use.
Lying and deception have become a regular occurrence. You may hide the fact that you used the money that was supposed to be used for paying the bills and rent on drug or alcohol cravings. If questioned or confronted, you may have become uncomfortable and defensive by attacking other people verbally and criticizing them often to shift the blame to others.
Maybe it didn’t stop at being defensive, maybe you became abusive when you lost control over your emotions. Maybe blaming others took on a physical and violent form. Perhaps by feeling threatened you were compelled to do whatever it takes, even turning to violence, just to protect yourself and your supply of drugs or alcohol. Research shows that aggression is one of the symptoms that comes with alcohol or drug use and abuse. The Department of Justice in the United States shows that a high percentage, which is about 38.5%, of family violence victims, were abused by offenders that were under the influence of alcohol or drugs on that time.
The behaviors of drug addicts and alcoholics can be very frustrating, baffling, scary, or sad. Oftentimes these behaviors lead to a family, friend or loved one feeling neglected and their feelings hurt. As the addiction worsens and prolongs, relationships are at a risk of being irrevocably fixed. However, recovery and reconciliation are possible and wrongs you may have done to your relationships can be fixed.
Recovering and Fixing Your Relationships
One of the things you can change in your life is your addiction. Treatment and recovery are possible. Your relationships that have become muddled due to addiction can also have a second chance, but first you need to admit and accept the wrong things that you have done in your life and exert effort to change your ways.
One way of getting back the happy, caring, bright, and responsible you are to make a list of all the mistakes you have done and correct them. This is a part of the 12 step program for alcohol or drug addiction. Step number eight states that alcohol and drug addicts must make a list of all the people that they have harmed through their addiction and be willing to make the changes and amends to everyone who has been hurt. Making a list is very useful. Just a paper and pen, can help you go a long way in recovery.
1. Make a List that is Honest and True
Write down all the details, especially the ugly ones you are most ashamed of. Becoming responsible and recognizing the mistakes and wreckage you created while being addicted is a big step in recovery. For a person to move forward, it is necessary that they acknowledge the role they have played in hurting those around them. When you admit this to yourself and become willing to repair the damage you have caused, you can overcome and control the destructive behavior that comes with your addiction.
2. Be Sure to Make a List of All those Mistakes You have Done
It’s easy to forget an event where you may have hurt someone. Try to remember them and don’t leave anything behind. This will help you remind yourself of the negative consequences of addiction. Work and confront the guilt that you may feel. Being reminded of this can help you avoid your mistakes and give you the motivation that you need to recover.
3. Make a List of All the People You have Hurt
Whether they are your loved ones, family, friends or mere acquaintances, you need to write down their names. Try to make amends by showing them that you are now trying your best to change. Be sincere when you ask for forgiveness, but don’t expect them to forgive you easily. Just don’t lose hope and give up. They will eventually see your efforts.
Keep your list close to your heart and mind. That scratch of paper can help you in your darkest times and remind you of the importance of recovering.